Futile Love - Chapter 64

Chapter 64: Chapter 64

Even though she was a woman, he momentarily staggered when she rushed into his arms with all her strength.

After all, he flopped onto the pink mat she was sitting on. She fell between his legs when he dropped to the ground.

He narrowed his eyes at that moment. He put his hands on her shoulders.

He could feel the fair skin of her soft and round shoulders. Her heart was pounding. To her surprise, he bit his lip.

She closed her eyes quickly the moment he put his hands on her shoulders. She thought he was going to push her off, but he stayed still while holding her shoulders.

“Your Majesty?”

She raised her head and dared to look up at him. Her pointed eyes tilted sadly to one side when she extended her hands in excitement.

“Will you hold me, Your Majesty?”

She put her hands on his hands. It was the first time they touched.

Was it because of his meek behavior? She grew optimistic.

She tilted her head and kissed his hand on her shoulders. It was the first time she put her lips on a stout man’s body, even though it was his fingers.

His fingers wiggled. While biting his lip, he opened his mouth and murmured inaudibly, “Why did you…”

“Pardon?”

He didn’t reply, though. Her body was quickly turned halfway. That cool silk mat touched her back. While holding her shoulders, he suddenly turned her body and laid her on the mat and leaned over her. With his dark eyes, he scanned her. Blushing, she turned her head. He tightened his hands on her shoulder.

“Oops…”

While examining her body with a dull look, he smiled with a short sigh.

“Just this…

He again said something she couldn’t understand. Kyoyoung felt like she might get annoyed. Unable to control her excitement, she extended her hand.

“Bipaan… Your Majesty!”

She dared to call him by his first name. She stared at him with provocative eyes, touching his coat string with her hand.

“Can you stop it?”

When she was trying to pull him down by his coat, he stopped it with his big hand. She felt his hand was warm a moment ago, but she was scared about it like hot fire now. She instinctively pulled her hand away. He raised his upper body. He looked down at her, fully naked. She felt ashamed of herself after realizing that she was naked before him for the first time.

“Let me ignore it as I think it was an accident.”

His low and soft voice turned into a heavy and stern tone.

As usual, his voice was as cold as ice.

He was done.

She could instinctively feel it. His mysterious visit, which she could never understand, and the golden opportunity that she could use to hold him, all turned out to be a fiasco for her. Her innocent illusion vanished all of a sudden.

‘What did I do?’

She took off her clothes on her own and jumped into his arms, which was definitely improper. Her act was not only improper but also lustful and reckless.

She was full of embarrassment and shame. She blushed. Her eyes welled with tears. He stood up, adjusted his dress then left out before tears came down from her eyes. He didn’t glance back at her. He closed the door with a bang, which was like a dagger stabbed in her heart.

***

Today, Kyosul went to the back garden of the outer palace. Whenever she went to the big tree on the hillside of the center of the garden, she could see him standing there all the time.

“I’m late again,” she said.

“You’re not late, Kyosul. I’ve got here early,” Ruhae replied with a smile. The formal greetings between them were gone long ago. There were only Ruhae’s soft smile and Kyosul’s bright laughter between them.

They folded their hands together gently.

And someone watching them secretly were pacing up and down behind the tree and quickly disappeared.

***

Kyoyoung woke up. She was still lying on the mattress. Fully naked, her lower body was covered with a thin silk gown, even without a blanket. Realizing belatedly that she slept like that even without pulling a blanket over her body, she closed her half-open eyes again.

“Was it all a dream?”

She wished it had been a dream. What happened last night should have been a dream to her. In fact, it was like a terrible nightmare.

‘Can you stop it?’

She recalled Bipaan’s cold voice when she tried to pull his clothes off. She missed him all the time. She badly wanted to see him, but what happened last night was the last thing she wanted.

Without even knowing how shameful it was, she jumped Bipaan who visited her room unexpectedly last night. She took off her clothes on her own and begged him to hold her. He rightly pushed her aside coldly.

“Why did I do that to him? Was I so sexually excited?”

Was it because she spent so many nights alone that she got sexually aroused the moment he came into her room late at night? She felt ashamed of herself when she realized that she revealed her sexual desire to him but was totally rejected.

Recalling what happened last night, she frowned and bit her lip until it turned white and began to bleed.

“I never thought I would go through another miserable day since I spent the wedding night so miserably.”

After all, she experienced another terrible day after her first marriage night. This time she brought it on herself.

She tried to put her harrowing experience last night behind her and forget about it. She thought that there was no chance that Bipaan would ever mention it. As long as she kept mum about it, it would be impossible that a rumor about her would spread in the palace. Her name had been on the lips of everybody in the palace when she was deserted by Bipaan on the wedding night, so she didn’t want to suffer another disgrace because of what happened last night.

“Let me assume last night didn’t happen.”

She wanted to forget it like a terrible nightmare, but things didn’t work out as she wished.

Kyoyoung had never bumped into Bipaan while coming in and out of the East Palace. Though they were residing in the same palace, they never ran into each other because of their different destinations. In fact, she used to expect to see his shadow even at a distance while she was going around in the palace. But she changed her mind after last night. She wished she would not bump into him at all.

As she had never come across him before, she moved around the palace comfortable as she used to, but when she passed the middle gate of the East Palace and headed for the Dongbi Palace, her residence, someone with a stout build approached her. He was Bipaan.

Unlike his typical day, he was coming out from the direction of the Dongbi Palace, accompanied by nobody.

‘Why is he coming my way?’

Kyoyoung frowned, but she hastily lowered her body to hide her gloomy expression.

“Long live the Crown Prince! I’m honored to see you.”

She didn’t expect to bump into him so quickly like this. She blushed and got thirsty because of her sudden encounter with him. With her head lowered, she waited for him to pass by quickly.

In fact, he never cast a glance at her, but this time he stopped before her. Neither of them spoke for a while. She just stared at his feet with trembling eyes, with her head lowered. At that moment some unresolved questions came to her mind.

‘Why did he come to my place last night?’

Why did he suddenly appear and stopped before her today instead of passing by, pretending not to have seen her?

She couldn’t find an answer to a series of questions about his erratic behavior now.

Bipaan stood before Kyoyoung silently for a long time.

As she didn’t have the nerve to see him, she just lowered her head, looking down on his feet.

Her neck felt stiff.

“I am sorry about last night,” he said in a monotonous tone.

As if the wind blew lightly, he offered kind of gentle apologies to her.

She opened her eyes wide with surprise when he moved his footsteps.

Standing stiffly, she saw him disappearing gradually, staying put until he completely disappeared from her view.

“Did I hear him apologizing to me?”

She gradually raised her head. When she turned her eyes toward him, he was gone.

She couldn’t believe her eyes. No matter how hard she recalled what he just told her, he apologized to her in passing.

‘Sorry about what?’

Was he sorry because he refused her temptation or because came to her unexpectedly? She couldn’t understand why he offered apologies like that.

She didn’t want his apologies. She felt as if his apology completely destroyed something that had bound her to him up to now. The apology was worthless and made her feel miserable.