I Ship My Adversary X Me - Chapter 18
Chapter 18
276.
A second ago, we were just participating in a manly hetero fight, our blades swift, and our war in full swing. If there was a table in front of us, we could have become sworn brothers.
The next second, we were rolling about together, looking at each other with smiles on our faces, our eyes full of emotion. If a banner was drawn above our heads, we could straight away get married and pledge our love for each other for the next three lifetimes.
277.
Exactly where did things go wrong?
How did the world tilt to such an angle?
More importantly, I even fell when lifting a person, how would the fans look at me in the future? How many ladies did I disappoint? Where am I going to stick this face of mine? What am I going to do to recover my manliness?
Although I seem to be conflicted over the wrong thing, focusing on them was much easier than focusing on how things progressed till “Gu Yiliang kabe-doned me with hundreds of thousands of people watching”.
278.
I reached out to push Gu Yiliang, whispering, “P-p-please quickly get up from my body…!”
Gu Yiliang smiled and sat up, and I glanced over at the comments section with much trepidation.
Ignoring the ridicule and mockery from some venomous commenters, one side was saying the other side harboured malicious intentions and deliberately tripped their son, while the other side said that the other side was bragging and their son only exposed him. In conclusion, it was still rather… Hmm…
The few whose names clearly showed that they were Gu’s Imperial Consorts commented, “Hahahahahahahaha I knew it would end up like this, our Empress1 didn’t injure himself, right? Hahahaha”
The few whose names clearly showed that they were members of the Pretty Yans commented, “Hahahahahaha I knew Yanyan would definitely not be able to lift him, so sorry to have troubled the adversary hahahahaha”
The few whose names clearly showed that they were members of the Niangzi Army commented, “Ahh.”
279.
There was no trace of surprise nor a trace of consolation.
Me?
Hello? Do you all just have no faith in me at all?
Forget about the Gu’s Imperial Consorts mocking me, but why did the Pretty Yans start too? Aren’t you guys adversaries?
Exactly what sort of character am I in your eyes?
No, wait, shouldn’t the Niangzi Army at least give me some encouragement?!
280.
It was clear that Gu Yiliang also saw those comments. He smiled dazzlingly, then patted my shoulder. “This little fellow needs to work harder. Next time, you can try and lift me up again.”
Me: “Sure I’ll work harder.”
Me: “No. Hold up, you think I’m so free? Why would I lift you up again?”
Him: “Huh? You’re not going to do it again? You can redeem yourself by doing so.”
Me: “Why would I lift you up? What’s the point of lifting you up? I’m not going to do it!”
Me: “…”
Him: “…”
281.
I no longer wanted to look at the comments anymore.
282.
Ever since I met Gu Yiliang, there had been an existing awkwardness that only the two of us could see. With our awkwardness displayed for everyone to see now, I had experienced too much suffering.
Ah, my trouble-making mouth.
Gu Yiliang covered his eyes, laughing till he shuddered. My soul escaping my body, I leant against the couch, looking up to the heavens in silence, giving the perfect performance of a stone carving.
283.
In the end, it was Xiao Chen who saved me.
He cracked open the door, calling out to me softly, “Yanyan, Yanyan!”
It was as though I had been granted amnesty. Bubbling with youthful spirit, I made my excuses to the audience watching the livestream and darted over to Xiao Chen like an arrow leaving the bow. Smiling incandescently, I asked him, “Why are you looking for me?”
Overwhelmed with my affection, he glanced at me. Shaking the pill box and mineral water in his hands, he whispered, “It’s time for your pills.”
284.
Actually, they were just things like vitamins, enzymes, and skin-whitening pills.
I slowly accepted the pill box, slowly counted the pills out, and slowly twisted the bottle of water open. With my ears perked up, I listened to what was going on behind me, hoping that Gu Yiliang would quickly find another topic and gloss over what had just happened so that I could return back to the camera.
“I’ll do it, I’ll do it.” Xiao Chen could not continue watching anymore. There was a clatter and he counted out the pills. Then he placed them in my palm, twisted the bottle cap open, and handed it to me.
Why hasn’t Gu Yiliang started talking about other things with the fans?! We have completely no tacit understanding with each other!
Feeling terribly worried, I tossed the pills into my mouth. Swallowing them down with water, I heard Gu Yiliang’s slightly low voice behind me. “… No, that’s not his manager. He’s Yanyan’s personal assistant.”
285.
My throat was probably due for a suffering today. Because of his casual, off-handed “Yanyan”, I choked on my water, and Xiao Chen hurriedly patted me on my back.
286.
I turned around, looking at Gu Yiliang in disbelief.
Did his reflex arc spin three times around the world and finally land? Did something good happen to him and he suddenly became more intelligent and understood what was going on? Was he suddenly enlightened by a buddha who happened to be passing by?
I did not know why he would suddenly address me differently, but it could be considered to have completed what the company had requested from us. I quickly swallowed the pills, about to fly back to the couch. However, Xiao Chen caught my arm and shoved two peaches in my hand.
I waved him off. “I’ve already eaten, I’m not hungry.”
Xiao Chen leaned near my ear mysteriously, speaking breathily, “I’ve been watching your livestream next door.”
Puzzled, I lowered my voice just like him, “Oh, so?”
With a sincere expression, he quietly praised, “You guys have been too professional selling your bromance, so I specially went to get two peaches from the craft services.”
Me: “?”
Him: “I’m afraid that when your feelings deepen, you won’t be able to hold yourself back from becoming sworn brothers, so I prepared some props for you.”
287.
There was a thousandth of a second that I really wanted to exit this play of life.
It’s difficult, it’s very difficult, it’s really too difficult. With Gu Yiliang in front, and Chen Youyuan behind, I’ve clearly been attacked from all sides!
288.
All but dead, I waved Xiao Chen off. Carrying the two juicy peaches, I took a seat back on the couch.
Seeing that I was back, Gu Yiliang looked at me with a slight frown. “You’re sick?”
It was not as though I couldn’t tell the fans that I was eating such things, so I shook my head. “No, just some supplements that have to be eaten regularly.”
“Oh.” Gu Yiliang’s brows smoothed over. He also stretched his arm out, and it carelessly, relaxedly, and naturally fell across my shoulders. Pulling me a little closer, he pointed at the peaches in my hands, smiling, “Are you treating me with that for supper?”
I shook my head again, “This cannot be eaten.”
His pause was very well concealed, and he seemed to glance at the peaches a little unhappily. Then, he turned to face the camera, feigning a crying face, “Yanyan refuses to let me eat the peaches.”
Who is your Yanyan? Calling me so familiarly, what ever happened to your best bro, your buddy, the Xiao Wei with whom you patted on the shoulder? Hmm?
This conniving person! He even deliberately added a whine to his voice, causing a commotion in the audience. They all cried and shouted about gifting him peaches even if they had to travel a thousand miles.
I was not affected, and solemnly shook my head again. “No, these really can’t be eaten. They’re meant to be offered to Guan Erge2.”
Gu Yiliang: “…”
289.
Peacefully, we answered a few more questions, chatting casually for a few moments. Gu Yiliang’s arm was still around me, and he did not let go. His eyes periodically fell upon those peaches, and I saw that his spirit was about to fly into them already. Giving up, I shoved the peaches into his arms. “Here, here, for you. If Guan Erge3 comes knocking on the door in the middle of the night because he didn’t get any peaches—”
It didn’t look like he had any intentions of eating them. Placing the peaches on the table, he smiled, “I’ll open the door. You definitely will not be disturbed in your sleep.”
Me: “Hm? No, why would my sleep be disturbed? We’re also not staying—”
Him: “Hey, this fan is asking what time do we normally rest and how exhausting it is to act in a drama.”
Me: “Oh, it’s definitely a little tiring. However, if the shoot ends early and we don’t have any evening scenes, we can usually sleep at about 1 or 2 am.”
Me: “Hold on, hold on, there seems to be a problem with what I just said—”
Him: “Hey, there’s a fan of the original work here. They’re asking if we have any comments about the characters we’re playing in the show.”
Me: “Oh, I’m playing a scholar after all. The stylist is very professional as well and has tried to follow closely to the description in the book. The green colour they specifically chose also suits me very well.”
Him: “Mn, right. It matches very well with my red outfit.”
290.
Me: “…”
Gu Yiliang, what are you doing?! The expert who has been asleep for nearly an hour has now awakened??? Can you control yourself a little!!! If you’re selling fanservice so obviously, you will be punished!!
The word “control” did not seem to exist in his dictionary. There was only “sensational” and “setting the world on fire”.
291.
Now that things were at this stage, there was no turning back.
Goodbye, my 100 gifs that the Niangzi Army was supposed to edit.
Hello, the love documentary .avi that the Niangzi Army was about to prepare.
292.
Seeing that the situation was sinking deeper and deeper out of my control, I glanced at the flowchart that was on the side.
Interaction, check. Both fan clubs were overflowing with joy, seeming to have even made friends with some of their adversaries.
Promotion, check. Both of us sitting in front of the camera was already a very good promotion for the drama.
Q&A, check. The Niangzi Army had already given us the couple Q&A questions.
Character, check. He was flawless and perfect, and my masculinity no longer existed.
Bromance, check. We were only missing the part where we would swear to be brothers or get married.
Talent display? …
293.
I saw a light and thought, We should just sing a song each and quickly end this torture! Tugging at Gu Yiliang’s sleeves, I smiled, “Hey, there’s only a little bit of time left. Why don’t we let the fans select a song…”
The company had clearly written this part down during the promotion. Before I could even finish, the song title appeared countless times in the comments section. There were even people who remembered our answers to the questions just now, spamming the comments with Xiao Baiyang4 and May I Ask Where’s The Road5.
Although the revenue collected from the livestream might not end up in our hands, there were still many fans who donated like crazy. I wanted to thank them, but I did not dare to do so, afraid that it would stimulate them and make them spend even more money.
Gu Yiliang seemed to not be thinking so much about all this. He carefully selected a song he knew how to sing from the comments and casually thanked the audience for the gifts on our behalf.
294.
After that, the screen exploded in fireworks, one after another after another after another. Cars lined up one after another after another after another. Rockets and yachts appeared on the screen as though they did not cost any money. 6
They were all gifted by the same person. It seemed like it would not stop for a period of time.
Only then did Gu Yiliang realise what was happening. He helplessly and urgently waved his hands, “That’s not what I mean, don’t give us any more, no more. We don’t encourage presents—”
To encourage the fans into buying more gifts, the livestream site gave the viewers who spent a lot some privileges. That fan’s comment was extremely big, bold, and flashed in multi-colours on the screen.
“I! AM! LATE! NIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZINIANGZI AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
295.
These words were really too dazzling, and they even drifted around our faces on the screen. It was difficult to not look at it.
Gu Yiliang: “Niangzi?”
My heart skipped a beat. I tried my best to look confused, as though I was not a part of it. Blinking my big, innocent eyes, I propped up my head and looked baffled at the camera.
He smiled at the camera. “That song by Jay Chou? Then Niangzi it is.”
Me: “?”
He turned to look at me. “Shall we sing it together?”