I’m Actually a Cultivation Bigshot - Chapter 411

Chapter 411 Perfectionist Deified Dog

“Wind-blowing skills or spells, whatever. It’s your opportunity.” The white dog tried to talk some sense into him, “We know that you’re incredible, you’re a God amongst Dogs. However…times have changed. Blackie’s the new Lord Dog now. It’s your breakthrough that he’s impressed by you.” The Deified Dog said arrogantly, “So what if he’s the Lord Dog? I’m the Deified Dog. I don’t need an opportunity like that!”

“Stop being foolish. Can you earn food by being the Deified Dog? Being the Deified Dog’s better than dog food?” The white dog shook his head, his long dog hair swaying.

Then, it took out a plastic dog bowl and placed it on the ground. He took out some brown beans from beneath his thick hair and placed them in the dog bowl.

Then, it started to lick on it.

It started to chew on the dog food with enjoyment. Crunch, crunch.

The crunchy sounds echoed throughout the mountain.

The white dog was happy. It ate while wagging its tail rhythmically. It was so tasty that it felt energized.

The Deified Dog bafflingly looked at it. He gulped and frowned, “You came over here to let me see this?”

He did not want to admit it but somehow the food was very tempting. “This is dog food. The rewards of the Lord Dog.” The white dog licked the bowl clean and smacked its lips. Then, it said, “If you can please the Lord Dog, you’ll have dog food to eat every day.” “Ha, so what? Why would I eat that?”

The Deified Dog laughed and shook his head. He looked arrogant. “Dog food? What a vulgar name. You bunch of Dogs haven’t seen anything. You’ve all been bribed by this dog food. I’m not trying to brag or anything, but back then, I had ambrosia. And I even had a Flat Peach every hundred years. That’s the difference between you Dogs and me.”

“I never had Flat Peach but if I had to choose, I’d still pick the dog food. By the way, your reaction is the same as most Dogs before tasting the dog food.”

The white dog paused. He looked pained when he placed a bit of dog food in front of the Deified Dog. “Do you want some?”

The Deified Dog glanced at the dog food and scoffed, “Since you’re so sincere, I shall try

it.”

Then, he ate the dog food.

Crunch, crunch.

The dog food was oddly crunchy. However, it had the appropriate toughness for a Dog. It was very nice to chew on.

At the same time, an intense milky deliciousness exploded as he chewed. It filled up his mouth, it also had flavors of vegetables and meat. The flavors blended but it was not odd. It was intensely delicious.

The crunching noises suddenly stopped.

The Deified Dog was dumbfounded. He froze up like a statue. It was obvious that he was shocked by how delicious it was!

Soon, he started to chew faster.

Crunch crunch

The crunching sounds kept coming.

Then, with a ‘poof’, his ears suddenly went back into Dog form. His ears were perked up. A furry tail also came out from behind, wagging from left to right.

So delicious that he returned into Dog form!

‘What… What is this? How can something so delicious exist?!’

More importantly, apart from being delicious, the dog food also contained a huge amount of Spiritual Qi. He could tell because he was knowledgeable. The milk and vegetables in it were extraordinary. They were most likely Spiritual Roots! ‘Scarily luxurious!

‘Is the food so nice here?’

The Deified Dog felt like he saw a whole new world. His mind was buzzing. ‘I can’t believe this dog food delicacy exists. This is a blessing for us Dogs!’

The white dog noticed that the Deified Dog looked like he had just been baptized. The white dog was not surprised at all. He reminded, “This dog food was earned by the Pekingese dogs. You have to follow us from now on.”

The Deified Dog snapped back into reality. He said pretentiously, “This dog food’s indeed extraordinary but I’ve seen much greater treasure than this. Moreover, I’m the Deified Dog. I’m a Dog with a Master! You want me to please another Dog for this? My dignity won’t allow it!”

The white dog looked at the Deified Dog and shook his head. “This is the lowest level of dog food. It’s made from a little amount of milk and Spiritual Fruit scraps. We have Golden Bee Honey flavored dog food, too.”

The Deified Dog exclaimed, “Golden Bee Honey flavored dog food?”. “Not only that. We also have pure Spiritual Fruit flavored dog food.”

“Pure Spiritual Fruit flavored dog food?!”

“Then, we have Spiritual Fruit combo flavored dog food, I heard that includes the Flat Peach.”

“Flat Peach flavored dog food??!!” the Deified Dog squealed. He widened his eyes. His Dog ears and tail were up high.

His saliva was drooling out from his mouth.

“I came here to look for you and treated you with dog food because we’re both Pekingese dogs. At the same time, I wanted to ask you to help us Pekingese dogs out.”

The white dog spoke slowly with a heavy voice, “There are too many Dogs that want to please the Lord Dog at the Dog Mountain. The security’s also strict here. Those untrustworthy Dogs could only spend their days eating other Demons’ meat. Those who are successful get to eat dog food. We Pekingese dogs could only eat the worst dog food. The most successful Dogs here are the Tibetan Mastiffs who know how to massage well. The good-looking Arctic Wolves, and the super bootlickers, Pugs—they’re able to eat pure Spiritual Fruit flavored dog food!”

“Really?!”

The Deified Dog went serious. He said, “I’m not doing this for the dog food. But… As a member of the Pekingese, how can I watch the Pekingese dogs be weaker than the other Dogs? For our glory, I’ll do whatever it takes! So what if I sacrifice my dignity?”

He paused and asked, “So, how can a Pekingese please the Lord Dog?” “Our long hair is entertaining when we dance. Lord Dog might enjoy it,” the white dog said while demonstrating by twerking.

“Oh? Like this?” The Deified Dog transformed back into Dog form and started to twerk, too. Its Dog hair swayed. It humbly learned how to dance.

The white dog hurriedly said, “You don’t have to dance. You can go be a fanning dog. Perhaps you’d be the most popular Dog around the Lord Dog. Don’t forget about us by then.” “Oh, yeah.” The Deified Dog suddenly realized. “How should I blow? What level of force should I use? Cold air or hot wind? I have to practice. After all, I’m a perfectionist.”

At the Palace of the Deluxe Merit Saint in the Heavenly Palace.

Chang’e gently pushed the final dough stick into her mouth with her fingers. Then, she sipped the last bit of soy milk in her bowl. They had finished their breakfast.

Li Nianfan looked at her puffed-up mouth. He had to glance at her and thought it was weird. ‘It should be an ungraceful act. But why does Chang’e look good while doing so? ‘Looks are indeed important!’

He smiled and asked, “Is the breakfast alright, Goddesses?”

Chang’e genuinely exclaimed, “It’s so good. Lord Saint, your delicacies are unimaginably delicious.”

The breakfast was simple but enjoyable. It was much better than any feast. The deliciousness had exceeded whatever they ate before. It was more than a delicacy to them.

‘Too precious.’

Lan shyly stood up. She bowed and said, “Thanks for the hospitality, Lord Saint.”

Li Nianfan suddenly stared at Lan. He smiled and said, “It’s just a meal. No need to be so courteous, Goddess Lan. I’m an approachable guy, no need to be so tense. Let loose a little.” “I—I…”

Lan immediately blushed. She looked down and was slightly quivering. She finally said after a long while, “I understand.” Li Nianfan had to laugh and shake his head. He asked, “Oh, yeah, I noticed that you just returned from somewhere, Goddess Lan. Are you done with your mission?”

“No, not yet.” Lan frowned. She shook her head, “There has been a bit of a problem. I came back to ask for assistance.”

‘She came back to ask for helpers.’

Li Nianfan asked curiously, “What happened?”

Lan roughly summarized, “The Northern River areas are struck by a plague. Too many innocent people are dying. I went over to check it out and found out that the Plague God’s staying there. He’s spreading the plague and causing havoc. I can’t stop him on my own.”

“Plague God?” Li Nianfan raised his eyebrows. “He stopped listening to the Heavenly Palace’s orders?”

Lan nodded and felt troubled.

“It’s not hard to understand. After all, a lot of Immortals joined the Heavenly Palace because they were forced to in the first place.” Li Nianfan then said, “If this Plague God is the same one from ‘Investiture of the Gods’, it’d be troublesome.”

Lan said, “He was the Plague Emperor back then. He rarely showed himself or talked to others. Lord Saint, do you know who he is?” Li Nianfan replied, “It must be him. This person’s name’s Lu Yue. He’s extraordinarily powerful. He used to be invincible.”

Lu Yue was the first student of the Anti Sect. He was on the same level as Zhao Gongming and San Xiao. He was the best at Plague Spells. Back then, he was a character that troubled Jiang Ziya. In the end, Jiang Ziya had to seek help to send Lu Yue into the Investitures of the Gods. He was a Daluo Golden Immortal.

Lu Yue was the original Plague Master. He was the best of the Anti Sect. How could Lan fight him?

Li Nianfan had to say, “I think you should inform the Jade Emperor and the Empress about this.”

“Mr. Li, I already fought him. I’m not his match but I should be able to fight him if I have another Taiyi Golden Immortal with me.” Lan sounded sure. She said, “I don’t think I should trouble the Emperor and the Empress.”

“I see…”

Li Nianfan looked at Lan weirdly. He did not expect to see another side of Lan. He saw a bunch of guards passing by the Heavenly River. He immediately shouted, “Pals, please, stay.”

Those guards did not dare to ignore him. They instantly stopped flying and straightened up. They stood up straight and looked at Li Nianfan. They saluted at the same time and asked, “Lord Saint, do you have any orders for

us?”

They noticed that Li Nianfan was eating and having fun in the attic. Also, Goddess Chang’e and Goddess Lan accompanied him. They instantly felt envious.

“This is life’s winner. Unlike us poor guards who have to guard the river. Sigh, the contrast hurts.’

‘If I’m as capable as the Lord Saint-‘

Slap!

They slapped themselves in their minds. They corrected their internal monologues, ‘I’d be wildly successful if I had a pinch of his talents.’

Li Nianfan asked, “Is General Juling Shen around?”

“Saint, General Juling Shen was sent to guard the Chaos.”

‘Chaos’ was known as the Universe to Li Nianfan.

“Guard?” Li Nianfan was puzzled. “Why send him?”

It was not a technical job. Guarding the Chaos was basically being on different planets and checking out if there was anything out of the ordinary. Usually, bored Immortals would be sent to stroll around. It was wasteful to send Juling Shen for a simple task like that.

Moreover, floating around in the Universe would be lonely. It must be torture for a social person like Juling Shen.

“We don’t know. All we know is that yesterday, General Juling Shen excitedly went to look for the Jade Emperor. Then, he came out disappointed with his droopy head. He was suddenly sent for the job…”

Li Nianfan realized.

“Juling Shen came back and instantly talked smack about Lord Taoist Taihua!’

He could picture how things went down.

Juling Shen must have said something like, “Emperor, this Taoist Taihua fella is no good. He’s clueless about leading the army, he doesn’t understand battle planning, and he doesn’t even have battle strategies. He only knows how to go for it and almost made a huge mistake. Also…”

All the Jade Emperor heard was, “Emperor, you’re worthless. You’re stupid!”

It was already a merciful punishment…