You Boys Play Games Very Well - Chapter 59

Chapter 59
The live commentators certainly wouldn’t miss such an important day and they had been touting the glorious record of the 18-year-old FRUIT team captain from the very beginning. Because of this, many fans from all over came specially for their idol’s birthday. Every time the cameraman cut to a close-up of his expressionless face, a small wave of cheers was set off in the audience.

Compared to the unsmiling captain, the other four players were constantly talking and laughing, at ease. After all, this was just an exhibition match; even their coach was banished to the audience on the grounds that the anchor team didn’t have a coach. For five amateurs, it wasn’t easy to beat five pros, let alone six.

The five people on the anchor team, apart from Ling Meng and Shan Zhu, were meeting each other for the first time. This was no five-person team, not to mention any sort of long-running cooperation. The good thing was they all felt they would lose the game without a doubt, so no one had any psychological pressure.

“The highest ranking here among us belongs to Mang God. Mang God will have command and we’ll follow his arrangements.” One of the anchors suggested this and it was supported by several of the others.

“You just said you wanted to play in order to demonstrate the entertainment value, how should we play?”

Ling Meng asked Shan Zhu’s opinion. Shan Zhu planned it out, advising everyone, “Why don’t we start like this…”

The match officially began. Both sides started very ordinarily, the anchor team focusing on space station development and each member of the pro team looking for a good mining sites before landing. Obviously one mastering defense, one mastering offense.

In the opening three minutes, the commentator caught on that the anchor team seemed to be sneaking around with a plot. The live camera cut over and found these unscrupulous anchors surprisingly in the field of play, forming a huge heart symbol with basic units.

— The Romance of a Galaxy Anchor: A heart shape for you out of soldiers.

The audience was seething with excitement. For the commentators, this was also the first time they had seen players who could stir up a heated atmosphere in the first three minutes. To do this, they would have had to do a lot of preparatory work ahead of time, in order to ensure the long start of the development wasn’t slow. At this time, both people sighed in unison, this is the well-known Fighting Cat “Entertainment” anchor group, their style of painting was not the same as those game anchors.

The scouts sent by the pro team also arrived at the anchor team territory and naturally took a panoramic shot of the scene. Ten minutes later, the pro team put up a FRUIT ❤ U symbol with a luxury lineup, inciting the whole audience to applause.

With a perfect entertaining start to their interaction, the two sides began friendly exchanges. Ling Meng, the most impulsive on the team, was the first to send out units to do something. The closest thing to him with the legendary Banana’s base and he wanted to see for himself the difference between the legendary captain and ordinary people.

But, for the sake of the situation, he asked for the advice of the interim team leader, Shan Zhu, in advance: “Can I go to Banana’s home base? I’ll likely fall and be wiped off the map.”

“You’re going to die anyway; it’s all the same to court death from any of them,” Shan Zhu ‘supported’ him.

With the support of Shan Zhu, Ling Meng’s soldiers huddled together, invading Banana’s base from the rear flank. The first active offense for the whole game, the live camera of course cut to Lemon.

The two commentators were thrilled to see this, Commentator A took the lead in speaking:

“Lemon has taken the initiative, which is very in line with his usual style of play.”

“But to my surprise, he provoked Banana to begin with?” Commentator B laughed, “Isn’t this ‘the newborn calf is not afraid of the tiger’1?”

“I wouldn’t say that. Lemon’s idea should be ‘anyway, I can’t fight any of you five, I might as well just pick one of the strongest to harass.”

Commentator B understood: “It’s just happened that the strongest one was the closest.”

“That’s right, that’s accurate.”

Ling Meng wanted to sneak in. Unexpectedly, he couldn’t see a single unit at all in the other’s base. Sneaking in turned into a straight march forward, so even he felt something was not quite right.

“Eh? Eh? Eh?” Commentator A made three exaggerated exclamations, each subsequently higher in volume, “Do you see it? Do you see?”

Commentator B also smiled as they couldn’t believe it: “Banana’s units have withdrawn, this is deliberately presenting an open door to the other side, ah, catching turtles in a jar2?”

“With the current level of development, there is no need to catch turtles in a jar, ah, because even if Banana doesn’t have many soldiers, he can still completely surround the other side.”

“Exactly, is that why, to conserve his forces?”

The two commentators over there were competing to guess first. On this side, Ling Meng was also confused.

“There is no one in Banana’s base,” he took a two-lap trip around the other’s base and commented in confusion.

“Did he go out making waves like you?”

“That wouldn’t be very defensive, would it?” Even the wave-based Ling Meng wouldn’t dare to make such a wave, “isn’t he afraid of someone destroying his base?”

Still, Ling Meng really went up into someone else’s base to knock on the door. The base started the automatic defense mechanism and since Ling Meng had too few soldiers, he was hit a few times and then ran away.

Even Commentator A couldn’t see it: “Of the last 100 games I’ve commentated, this is the first time I’ve seen someone less than 10 minutes after the start send more than 10 basic units to directly destroy the opposite side’s base. It’s really beyond imagination. Only Lemon Daddy could do this.”

Comment B smiled: “The key is that Banana has no defense and there is no support from the teammates. Lemon has no plan and nothing can be done without the cooperation of the opponent.”

“Now we can obviously see that Lemon is a little overwhelmed, what can you do when you’re welcomed with a welcome. Demolish the other’s buildings? What if there’s an ambush?”

“So I firmly believe that this is an empty city strategy3 by Banana.”

“Oh? Lemon passed through the turret of Banana and was two units were killed by the automatic attack of the turret. Now…”

“Sell, selling?” Commentator B suddenly interrupted loudly.

Commentator A also had a dumbfounded expression: “Xiang God selling off his own turret? What new strategy is this?”

Ling Meng originally thought that there was just about to be a surge from the turret, but in the blink of an eye, the turret left behind a patch of ground. His mouse just remained on the ground, and the scene showed a close-up of his bewildered blinking.

“I really don’t understand this time,” Commentator A said, giving up. “Can you understand?”

“I don’t understand.” Interpretation B also surrendered. “Truly worthy to be Xiang God. I, like a mortal, can’t figure out his thoughts.”

The camera cut to the FRUIT coach who was laughing and watching the game from the sidelines. And the commentator took the chance to ridicule him:

“Can someone give feedback to the coach that his team has an actor.”

“The actor’s social status is a little high.”

“This is another situation where FRUIT doesn’t hold their opponent in high regard, saying, watch how I defeat you while acting like this.”

“If it were someone else, I could understand, but this is not the Xiang God that I know.”

“All that remains are strategy and tactics.”

“There can only be this forced interpretation.”

Ling Meng foolishly remained at the Banana base for a while and then ran home after doing nothing. He arrived with a daring attitude and in the end, lost two soldiers.

“How did you come back?” Shan Zhu took the opportunity to scan his development.

“The water on the other side was too deep4, I couldn’t figure out the plot,” Ling Meng answered.

After Lemon retreated, the live feed was given to the others. This time, the professional team’s Avocado teamed up with Pineapple to make a wave of strikes. The reinforcement strategy of the anchor team went wrong and they lost a power station in vain.

“This tactic is a bit familiar.” Ling Meng thought.

“The last time we fought with them, you used it.”

“…This is a team harboring bitter resentment.”

The anchor team was temporarily behind and Shan Zhu’s development was no longer too trivial. He actively asked Ling Meng to cover him. They attacked Cherry’s barracks from an extreme distance, shooting until there was only a trace of health. Ling Meng’s spacecraft followed up with a strafing shot and the barracks collapsed, and Cherry’s helpless head shaking on the big screen led to a discussion from the commentators.

“Mangosteen has a nickname of the ‘Walking Calculator’. I always thought that he would use a calculator while playing the game.”

“Do you still need to draw a Cartesian coordinate system to calculate the curve function?”

“Of course, that’s what everyone jokes about, that Mangosteen’s targeting ability is too strong. For example, just that wave of attacks just now, I may not be able to hit ten units.”

“If I could move twenty points ahead, the hit rate would probably be 50%.”

“In the course of a competition, I’m really afraid of such a long-distance attack master. Say that he can hit you from so far that you can’t hit him back. If you chase him, he will ran away. How do you break this pattern?”

“No solution.”

“With Lemon as a striker, Mangosteen is even more invincible, because Lemon himself is a very aggressive player, dare to rush forward.”

“Daring to go anywhere, unafraid of death.”

“Right, right.”

“And these two people ride the black together every day, so it can be said that their cooperation is very tacit.”

“Well, now Mangosteen and Lemon have launched an attack on Litchi, the other three members of the anchor team are playing defense, resolutely not leaving the space station. Look, it seems they are playing the combination of two attackers and three defenders.”

How could the professional team be so easily trampled upon without showing off their skills: the five players joined together and almost destroyed one entire base of the anchor team. If not for some people’s timely reinforcements, it would now be a four-to-five situation.

“Too strong,” Ling Meng jiggled his legs. “I feel that I can’t reach their level even after another ten years of practice.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Nervous?” Ling Meng looked down at his legs. “I am excited!”

“Do you want to do something else?”

“Go!”

So the audience happily watched the MangNing group go forward again. Since defense was of little significance, they simply turned attack into defense, harassing in the east and causing chaos in the west. The professional team ambushed them several times, but they all escaped.

“We really saw a few wonderful techniques this time.” Commentator A sighed with emotion.

“Yes, especially the wonderful escape technique, just two people flashing to each other using the teleportation array, so they could escape from Avocado’s pursuit. This is the tacit understanding formed by riding the black together so much.”

“Avocado is known as the Big Fiend of FRUIT. His pursuit ability is particularly strong. You can see this his skills are all about interception and positioning. His units are also the fastest.”

“Unfortunately, the Big Fiend is also helpless in the face of this slipper combination.”

“Oh? The camera focused on the Big Feind and he smiled so happily.”

“Kind of ‘I just can’t catch up with you, what can I do but smile’.”

“Look at the anchor team, Lemon Daddy took off his headphones and leaned over to whisper to Mang God. What did he whisper? If there is any audience members on the scene with lip reading level 8, please raise your hand and tell us.”

Who knows what Lemon Daddy said, they could only see Mang God happily reaching out after and rubbing the other’s hair. Lemon Daddy didn’t duck away, it was obvious that such interaction between the two of them was too common.

“We’re all single dogs. Are you two going to display your conjugal love on the spot like this?”

The audience collectively shouted: “Good!”

The commentator was speechless: “You’re the worst audience I have ever had.”

“Yeah!”

“Xiang God is sending out troops! Xiang God hiding his troops for half the game, was he building up his energy?”

“It is possible that Banana is playing a tactic of early stage development.”

“Banana’s first attack is anchor E, who was first besieged by the three opponents. The base was at half-health and Banana’s flying troops finished it off in a single wave with no suspense.”

“The professional team sent out troops collectively, are they now planning a group attack? The base of the anchor D is also going to fall soon.”

“Litchi’s base was hit by Mangosteen and there were waves of exchanges between the side sides. The anchor team has maintained the formation of two attackers and three defenders. On the other hand, the professional team has come all out, their current defense is quite weak.”

“The anchor D has fallen, all the defensive power is focused on anchor C’s base, let’s see how long he can last.”

“It must be said that the FRUIT team’s collective deployment is simply like the force to smash bamboo5. All the anchor team can do now is to delay time and let the slippery combination attack as much as possible, so the score will be better than the pro team.”

“If this were a professional game FRUIT will certainly not be so aggressive. Thanks to today’s exhibition match, we can see a different FRUIT.”

“The bases of anchor C and Pineapple exploded simultaneously, now the professional team is still ahead by one base.”

“The five-man attack and two-man attack speeds are certainly not the same, the MangNing duo have done a good job.”

“Yes, yes, and next, Lemon’s base will not survive, right? Wait, what is Banana doing? ”

“Banana attacked Lemon’s secondary base, leaving the unguarded main base without a backup?”

“The point is that after the secondary base disappears, it will give the main base an invincible shield for 90 seconds, in other words Banana covertly protected Lemon, buying the anchor team an extra 90 seconds?” Commentator A shook his head, “I don’t think this is a mistake made by Xiang God.”

“It’s also possible that he is still acting.”

“Just acting all this whole time?”

“Yes.”

“Acting as Lemon Daddy’s undercover FRUIT agent.”

“The audience members on the scene are watching a wonderful four-on-six matchup.”

“What the hell is he doing?” The most confused one in this situation was Ling Meng himself.

“Namely, this is self-confidence to give you 90 seconds and show that you still can’t win.”

“When facing others, I would feel arrogant, but towards Banana, I really am very angry . He’s so fierce… look!”

The live camera synced up the shot of Banana’s wonderful drifting strafe maneuver with a small camera lens aiming at Xiang Jiao’s left hand, moving fast enough to leave an after-image.

“Guava’s drifting strafe, it turns out he can do it too.”

“His technique always gives me a sense of deja vu.”

The Mangosteen base fell and all the FRUIT players surrounded the remaining Lemon base, waiting for the invincible shield to disappear. On the pro team side, there were still two bases and a full-health space station remaining. The underdog anchor team was able to take out three of the professional team’s bases, this was already a good result. The commentators who were originally worried that the game would be one-sided were relieved.

There was no suspense in the match. The professional team once again used units to form a GG shape in the air with spaceships. The anchor team conversed internally for a moment and then, led by Ling Meng, the five people almost simultaneously entered the same sentence on the public screen:

“You boys play games very well~”

The iconic Lemon Daddy catchphrase pushed the atmosphere to the climax. The audience whistled and applauded and a friendly and harmonious exhibition match ended in a harmonious and friendly atmosphere.

After the game, the two sides shook hands. When it was time Xiang Jiao’s turn, Ling Meng awkwardly said, “Thank you.” He just wanted to again ask why, but Xiang Jian and the vice-captain Ying Tao were urged to do a post-match interview.

“I heard that you had encountered an anchor team in the casual match arena not long ago and it was a rollover6. Was this really the case?”

Ying Tao said with a smile: “Don’t ask so euphemistically, our rollover video is everywhere on the Internet. Even I have watched all of them several times.”

“What was the situation at the time, did you deliberately let out the water7?”

“No, no, absolutely not,” Ying Tao firmly denied. “The opposite side was very strong. We also played at the proper level, but the match ended up like that. No one can guarantee that they can win every game.”

“So do you feel vindicated by the result today?”

“Where was there a need for revenge? Don’t randomly lead the rhythm. We had a good time in both matches.”

“There were a few obvious moments of letting out water by Xiang God in the course of today’s match, what was the purpose?”

“There was no purpose.” Xiang Jiao replied with a rare sentence, “The opponents were not pro players.”

The implication was that it was just for entertainment’s purposes.

“So who do you think is the best among the five people you played against today, that is, whose level is higher?”

“Man…”

“Mangosteen?” The reporter helped him out.

“Yes.”

“It’s not easy to earn Xiang God’s affirmation. The next FRUIT team match will be against VEGETABLE. What do you think is your probability of winning?”

“Fifty-fifty.”

“His answer to this question is always the same.” Ying Tao added after, meaning that asking the same thing in the future would be asking in vain.

The reporter also asked some questions about their competitive training and finally wanted to end the interview with a few light-hearted questions.

“Can I ask what hobbies Xiang God has? I mean in addition to e-sports.”

Xiang Jiao had no response to this questions, but Ying Tao held back the smile and answered: “Our captain’s only hobby previously was e-sports; whether it was training or rest time, every time I saw him, he was always playing the game. But he recently developed a sudden affinity for watching live broadcasts. As long as the anchor was live, he watched and also rewarded the person with many gifts.”

“Really?” The reporter’s eyes were bright with interest. “Can you tell me which anchor it is? Is it a game anchor?”

“It’s an entertainment anchor.” Xiang Jiao corrected.

“So what about this anchor attracted your interest?”

After thinking for a moment, Xiang Jiao replied slowly: “Just…it’s pretty funny.”

Ying Tao whispered beside him and pulled the rug out from under his feet: “I haven’t seen him laugh once.”

Ling Meng and Shan Zhu had just finished being bombarded by fans, each holding a bunch of gifts. Ling Meng had received all kinds of snacks and dolls and Shan Zhu had received various snacks and love letters.

Ling Meng was still struggling over Shan Zhu receiving a love letter while he received none. Then he saw the captain of FRUIT coming from a distance and remembered that he still had something to ask him.

“By the way, I’m going to ask him why he deliberately let out the water for me today.”

Ling Meng put down the gifts and planned to just head over, but Xiang Jiao himself came over to him and shoved a book and pen at Ling Meng.

Ling Meng: “…What’s this?”

“Signature.” Xiang Jiao spoke like each word was gold.

“Signature?”

“Yeah.”

“Whose?”

“Yours.”

Ling Meng: …

He turned his head and looked at Shan Zhu, who shrugged his shoulders.

“You want my signature?” Ling Meng confirmed it again.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I’m a fan.”

Ling Meng: ???

Xiang Jiao said: “I’m Guava.”

Ling Meng: =口=

“Guava is your small account?”

“Yes.”

Ling Meng’s eyes opened wide: “Even if he’s a mangosteen (shan zhu) that dressed up as a mango, you’re a banana (xiang jiao) that actually dressed up as a bala8?!”

—

Footnotes:

1. newborn calf is not afraid of the tiger (初生牛犊不怕虎的精神): metaphor for fearlessness, those with less experience have no fear when doing something and are unstoppable ↩
2. catching turtles in the jar (瓮中捉鳖): a sure catch, to go after easy prey ↩
3. empty city strategy (空城计): bluffing an enemy by opening the gates of a weakly defended city, so they think it’s an ambush trap and don’t enter ↩
4. water is too deep (水太深): the person is deep, profound, and scheming, difficult to understand ↩
5. broken bamboo (破竹): short for, a force to smash bamboo (破竹之势), i.e. an irresistible force ↩
6. rollover (翻了车): gaming slang for when an old driver (veteran player) loses due to an accident ↩
7. let out the water (放水): sports slang for throwing a game ↩
8. bala (芭拉): loan word from Taiwanese for guava ↩

—

Surprise!!! If the hints earlier didn’t give it away, Guava was Banana all along~~
I think the author was trying to make a ‘banana sounds like bala’ joke at the end ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Countdown to the end: 10 sections. Countdown to the smut: 2 sections